Woman in the trenches

Almost a year since New York’s first lockdown…

I have put on the reserve bench many of my functions, prioritizing the feeding and teaching of my kids. This is what this ‘pandemic war’ is asking out of my body and soul while others are sent to the front lines to deliver groceries or heal the sick.

I have been drafted and have accepted that my contribution to society is what I am the worst at: ‘Children’. I have always fancied myself as a Katniss in a dystopian war movie, but who are we kidding? I would be the character who drags their feet, wetting their pants, and screaming “I don’t want to go!!!”. Very likely I would also disappear five minutes after the opening credits.

Therefore, there will be no D-day for me. Instead, I decided to handle home schooling like a company. Here is the business plan for the financial year 2020/21.

My entry level staff aka my children presented overall low work ethics so I had to call in a trusted training manager: babysitter Simone.

I promoted leadership development through an employee-owned fitness program with my daughter improvising herself as a yoga master for the entire family.

Daily chat board meetings with other mama-directors are held to discuss revenues, expenses and Profit/Loss of the pandemic.

The compensation structure will not include cash but owner’s equity in my children’s 2033 annual salary.

As for immediate dividends payments, they will be expected on Mother’s day, May 9th with no deferring allowed.

Signed and approved by Soumountha, CEO, CFO, HR director and janitor

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