I am a schizo-psychotic 40 year old mum with verbal diarrhea who is in search for cheap therapy as she is trying to handle three adorable yet hyperactive children while running a Fashion start-up. Basically my life is a fucking mess and I should really stop blogging. But I need it badly. I also want to show the true story of a mom entrepreneur. Stuff like:
- your kids don’t understand why you are supposedly the boss but never have money
- your husband is supportive but is really sick of sleeping among dress forms – that is not sexy but creepy. He tells you that and your only response is ‘C’mon naked breasts for free, I am not jealous, in fact I brought them in our bedroom and you complain? Duh’
- your new best friend is a bitch steamer called ‘Rowenta’
- in real life, The Devil does not wear Prada but a stained silk blouse
- you interrupt your google hangout meeting with your business partner by saying ‘Gotta go. My kid just pooped on the bathroom floor’.
Yeah… I know.
I am a schizo-psychotic almost 40 year old mum with verbal diarrhea who is in search for cheap therapy.
I struggle on a daily basis to reconcile my addiction to high heels and minimalistic design, my infamous past as the life of a party and my present as a “I have no idea what I am doing’ mother. I am someone who did not want children for a long, long time and then did everything to have children for a long, long time and now is just overwhelmed. Full stop.
This blog is a vague attempt at articulating my messy journey through diapers, toddlers’ tantrums, working on a fashion start up, losing weight, becoming a New Yorker, keeping my husband and doing all this while trying to look amazing (or at least human)… Note to self: this means getting rid of -eventually- my maternity wardrobe. Those elastic waistband trousers are horribly comfortable but seriously I need to move on. It cannot be good for my ego. Seriously.
I am doing this blog because:
1-a friend told me to do it
2-I probably do need therapy but a blog seems a cheaper way to vent
3-I want to hear about you women who often think ‘I love my children but …’I know you are out there and you should not be ashamed. You are a superstar. I want to hear about all women in fact: the warriors, the angry, the happy (most girls probably hate you but ,I promise, I won’t), the stay at home mums, the serial dating gals, the tea total princesses, the AA etc. Some of you I have known for a long time, some of you I have never met but I am always humbled by your stories.
What to expect from my posts?
I am a Lao born gal so I tell it the way it is. With no sugar coating. For example I wish I had been told few things about pregnancy and motherhood such as:
– Women who decide not to have kids are in fact the sane and selfless ones while childless gay men couples are at the top of the Maslow pyramid.
– C section is a bitch and don’t waste your dough on those fancy sleepwear for the hospital because you’ll be in so much pain you will not even be able to put your underpants on your own. Believe me your partner/husband/boyfriend/gay best friend will never be as useful as on this day!
-Your children will like their dad better- fair enough he is not the one trying to force feed them with organic tasteless cereals and he actually does not mind playing hide and seek with them.
-You should wear your designer stilettos everyday even while showering because once you become a mom it is O-V-E-R. Mrs Beckham is an alien, do not copy her.
I am French so basically I am never satisfied, over thinking everything and obsessing about style, food and aesthetics. I believe that you can swear like a truck driver but remain a class act. Have a nervous breakdown my dear but do it with bubbles!
I have been working and living in Anglo Saxon countries for 14 years which means that I am hopelessly optimistic. I have been brainwashed by Nike’s famous ‘Just do it’ and if you want to fuck it up, ‘just bloody Fuck it up, real good’ and then climb out of your hole using your stiletto as a mountain pickaxe. Self- deprecation is not self pity but power.
In the end the most important thing is that I am a big fan of women, always unapologetically rooting for them. I want all women to love, be loved, kick ass, laugh, cry and laugh again. I want them to raise and claim their power. Do I believe ‘We can have it all’? Hell no! But we should probably not want to have it all anyway.
But don’t worry ladies we are survivors so we’ll make it through.
Get in touch: firstname.lastname@example.org