Outside my shell

‘The fire fades away
Most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it’s too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You’re close enough to see that’

KT Tunstall, Other side of the world

Friday posts are often reflective. They help me think about how I survived another week while doing the laundry, galvanize my energy levels for the restless weekend and make promises about how I was not going to lose my temper the following week. Or maybe they are not and I am just making no sense whatsoever. Anyway, today I have been thinking about reconciling me and my alter ego, my world and my other world. OK, I know this already sounds crazy and I shall forgive you if you close your tab now 🙂

People who read me have probably realized that I have kicked this oyster shell of mine once for all. They started to see redlipstickmama popping out on Instagram, Facebook pages, twitter, on some blog comments etc. It has not been an easy decision (and I am still debating it): am I going to alienate everyone? How more full of myself can I become? Are people going to start blocking me or get embarrassed when they talk to me? But I felt that I started a process that I could not (did not want to stop): a journey of full disclosure to engage with as many people as I can. As long as I stay true to myself, I will be fine, right? I fucking hope so. Anyway, the world outside my head and my WordPress therapeutic space aka my blog seems to have responded to my subliminal question: ‘Should I stay or should I go?‘. More and more people I know started to talk to me about some of my posts, with some admitting they have been lurking for a while but never mentioned it before. I seriously understand. What do you say? ‘By the way I read that post about your mom gambling and you chasing down your brothers with a knife…Your lasagna tastes fantastic, can I have some more?’. Gradually though, I am learning that I am making some laugh, some (almost) cry, others think about stuff, and some freaking relieved that they don’t have my life. And as I said it before, it is often leading to them telling me something buried inside them. I am loving that because I am writing all the crap I feel and think, my friends lower their guards too, sometimes.

The world in the blogosphere has responded too. I was asked to write my first guest post by Bonnie at the Joyful Organizer blog! It was a daunting to write for another blogger’s audience but hope you’ll like it. It is about my 8 ways to involve kids in house chores. You will probably think I am a child slaver after that. It is true, I am one. A fellow mom blogger, Kerrie at the Winding road recently gave me a WordPress Award which I think means I am part of her ‘blog family’ because of the level of engagement we have with each other. It sounds silly since we actually never met and that technically I don’t get a bronze naked guy statuette or something like that but I thought it was really nice. And then something Thor told me over the week end triggered today’s post. He asked ‘who the hell are all those people who comment on your posts??? What is this world you are in?’. I promise you, friends and relatives that we are not international spies sending each other codified national security secrets or underground kingpins…How awesome would this be if it was the case?

The reality is different. Here are some of these peeps. I am having a go at trying to describe them (apologies to all these bloggers if I completely fuck this up):

-Kerrie, mom of 2 at the Winding road. She seems very sweet and romantic. When she writes, it is very soothing. She sounds like the girl I would go to knock some senses into me when I go on about wanting to murder people.

– Ellen, at the Wanderer, one of my very early followers who inspired me to try to reach out more through her always supportive words. She also sounds like a very good listener, someone whom I would rant to about anything if we knew each other.

– B, at Journeys of the Fabulist is an inspiration. She is super funny and seems very organized (like in a thorough way not in ‘by chance’ way like me). Her posts at least are, they are very meticulous and it’s not like she is talking about walking in the park. Nope. She is freaking traveling with her kids to the Gold Coast (Australia), and now India! Can you just imagine me doing this?

– and the uber stylish Mason Bentley She/They is/are so cool it makes me cry. Everything they create, wear is something I would die for – if I had the waistline for it. Hell, I am even envisaging a quick liposuction because of that (kidding…hum).

My two worlds colliding on a Friday morning, it’s a nice feeling not to feel ashamed that I ‘talk’ to and ‘listen’ at people I have never seen. And every morning, I really ask myself, should I stop this nonsense? And every night as the kids go to bed and DH starts snoring, I am dying to write. So I guess the answer is no. I don’t really like oysters anyway.

Happy week end.

12 comments

  1. Romain

    It is a big commitment this blog. Don’t give up until you have a job – ‘cos then you won’t have the time!
    In the meantime just keep it up, the reality is you need it…. and it helps us to 🙂
    With love R
    Xx

    • redlipstickmama

      I do need this ! I realized the other day that while working I was writing a lot every day as a research analyst and that what I missed the most was this: writing. Except that now my life is the object of my investigation hahaha! Thanks for the support ! X

  2. B

    Honoured to rate a mention, although I’m not entirely sure how I’m managed to create the impression I’m organised. I think I’m better at organising my thoughts after the event than the actual event, so perhaps that’s it 🙂

    But I do know what you mean about coming out of your shell gradually, and I guess in some ways it’s no different online than off. We tend to reveal ourselves slowly anywhere – but face to face we get more subtle feedback about how that’s all going, which I think speeds the process up.

    I’m glad you enjoy writing in this space, because I do like reading it. And now I’m off to read your child labour tips because I am all about the child labour.

  3. Winding road

    I struggle with whether or not I am putting too much of myself out there at times. But, I tend to trust my gut and if it doesn’t feel right or isn’t something I would tell my best friend, they it stays inside, otherwise, it is out there. Thanks for the kind words, I am late to this post, clearly but have been widdling my way through my inbox of blogs I follow. I still haven’t managed an efficient way to read all of the awesome blogs out there but better late than never, I suppose. 🙂 Happy Friday! xo

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